When Our Differences Collide with Deeply Held Personal Values

What does Together Across Differences look like then?

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From the beginning of my business journey, I’ve shared about my personal/family life as a part of my content creation — like every day moments with my kids on my blog. Those posts created connections with my audience, some real and others parasocial.

In the process of sharing personal content, I unwittingly cemented “mom of three daughters” as part of my identity.

When my oldest child came out as nonbinary in 2021 and later as a transgender man, I felt unsure about how to navigate this online. I quietly changed bios of myself to reference my three children, rather than three daughters. When I met new people, it was easy to reference my oldest child as my son.

A childhood picture of my oldest child.

But what about the people who knew me before? I have shared the news of my son’s transition with some people who knew me way back when, but I’m sure there are many who do not know.

With the release of Beyond the Politics of Contempt, it’s possible some people could read my stories and learn this information for the first time. I had a dream last night that my grandparents (dead 20+ years) had copies of the new book in their hands. In my dream, I was worried about them reading my story without hearing this news from me first. I woke up realizing that this is a real anxiety associated with the release of the book, something my subconscious has been quietly processing.

Let me say it here: I wholeheartedly, unreservedly love, support, accept, admire, and celebrate my son. I’m heartbroken that his identity is something to be argued about politically and that people campaign hate against him and others in his community. Part of my participation in the BTPOC project is motivated by my desire to do something to create conversation and understanding so our world can be a kinder and more civil place for all people.

It feels vulnerable to share this part of our family’s journey in a public way but I do it — with my son’s permission, of course — so that others who have similar experiences can know that I am safe. I want them to feel supported, understood, and seen.

I also do this with trepidation because I know this topic divides people. I want to take a stand for the value, worth, and dignity of all humans without my support of LGBTQIA+ identities being a polarizing and political statement, but it is what it is.

What does it mean to be Together Across Differences when the differences that divide us are deeply personal?

What does it mean to be Together Across Differences when we take a stand for the people and causes that matter most to us?

Can telling our stories openly and authentically be a force to give people a new way to think about divisive issues?

I hope so. How about you? How would you answer these questions?

You will find more thoughtful questions in our forthcoming book, Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times. If you liked this post, please check out our other posts, which are available at no cost to subscribers.