Finding Hope on Independence Day
Strategies to come together as Americans
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Tomorrow is Independence Day, and we will both be with our friends and families, enjoying the summer weather, cookouts, and fireworks.
It’s also a day to focus on what it means to be an American.
People are being torn apart by politics, often engaging in unpleasant conversations and feeling increasingly suspicious of those with different viewpoints. Polarization was selected as Merriam-Webster’s 2024 Word of the Year, which was no surprise given how much it has dominated our national culture.
Political polarization has two aspects. Disagreements over ideas and policies is one aspect. This healthy conflict spurs new ways of thinking and moves our society forward. As Maury Giles, the incoming CEO of Braver Angels wrote on LinkedIn:
“Engage. Debate. Disagree. Do it in a better way. A way that finds unity on what truly matters most AND enlightens thought through a diverse array of potential solutions the issues we face today.”
In contrast, dislike and distrust of people with different views (called affective polarization) is toxic and creates an “us versus them” mentality.
How do we overcome affective polarization, renew a sense of national identity, and come together as Americans? Some of the suggestions we outline in our soon-to-be published book, Beyond the Politics of Contempt Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times, include:
Focusing on the quality of our relationships and connections with others, including how we touch and influence people (and how they touch and influence us). Even if you disagree with your Aunt Sue’s politics, you can engage with her about gardening, or the fabulous pie she brought to the cookout.
Learn how to share your views across differences. There are proven skills for this. Start by connecting and genuinely listening to Uncle Fred’s concerns, let’s say about climate change. Find agreement where you can - For example, say, “I wouldn’t want to give up eating this delicious burger either, especially on the 4th of July!” Then share your opinion in a respectful way- “This heat wave is pretty oppressive. I know there’s lots of causes, but I worry that all that oil we are burning to create energy is contributing. I’ve read about how a bunch of new jobs are being created in solar in our community.”
Limit your consumption of social media. Yes, social media can connect us. It can also be a powerful force for tearing us apart through algorithms that promote angry posts that divide us. When you see one of these posts attacking “those people,” think twice before sharing with your friends and relatives.
We close our book with the following text:
Perhaps the most important first step in helping change our country for the better is to build a new relationship with one person who voted on the other side of the political divide. Reach out and have coffee. Learn about their family, childhood and school experiences, work and career, hobbies, and other interests. Be curious and respectful, ask questions, and learn about that person’s life experiences and why they vote and think the way they do. And, of course, share your story. Your lives can be enriched, as will our nation. Positive change, starting two people at a time.
Wishing you a enjoyable, and meaningful Independence Day. Thank you for being part of our Substack community. It means the world to us.
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