Finding Hope Amid Despair
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These are challenging times in our country and it is all too easy to fall into despair. But hope and despair are connected: embrace the idea that we can hold onto both at the same time. I have hope that we can find a way to hold our country together.
In July 2023, I attended the Braver Angels national convention on the sacred ground of Gettysburg, PA. The nearly 700 attendees were asked “Why are you here?” I wrote “I am worried that my grandchildren will not experience the benefits of this country that I have.”
Others among the nearly 700 convention attendees responded with:
• “We need to trust each other again, and trust begins with communication and relationship.”
• “I’m here to dig deeper into my own biases and judgements.”
• “For personal inspiration and practical ideas to rebuild unity in our divided and rancorous democratic republic.”
• “To build relationships with people with different experiences and perspectives than mine.”
• “To leave the word better than I found it.”
• “I am deeply concerned about the country I love. My grandkids deserve to inherit a better country.”
• “I am here because, if we don’t change how our politics is done, we’ll see ourselves in another civil war. Except this time, it won’t look like Gettysburg – it’ll look like Rwanda.”
Having worked in Rwanda in the early 2000s, that last comment really caught my attention. I led a US-funded project to strengthen the parliament in that nation so scarred by the 1994 Hutu genocide against the Tutsis. Neighbors killed neighbors, even people they knew well, just because they were in a different tribe. The killers were emboldened by leaders who exploited difference and fear. I remember feeling grateful that we didn’t have political tribalism in the United States.
In 2014, I was working in Guinea during the Ebola epidemic in West Africa. I recall thinking Americans, unlike many Guineans, would have faith in our public health system in the event of a national medical emergency.
I was obviously wrong on both counts. We find ourselves today in political tribes and the COVID pandemic severely tested our ability to communicate with each other and trust what our government was telling us. While that pandemic may be behind us, it has clearly left deep scars.
Polarization was selected as Merriam-Webster’s 2024 Word of the Year which was no surprise given how much it has dominated our national culture. Political polarization has two aspects. Disagreements over ideas and policies (called ideological polarization) can be healthy for our society. In contrast, dislike and distrust of people with different views (called affective polarization) is toxic and interferes with healthy disagreement about ideas and policies. It creates an “us vs. them” mentality.
This latter kind of polarization is what concerns us. Author Mónica Guzmán describes this political polarization, “as the problem that eats other problems, the monster who convinces us that the monsters are us.”
But, amid widespread disdain for people who disagree politically, there are hopeful ways to better our lives, relationships, and country. We can turn the politics of fear and contempt into the politics of hope and build a national culture of kindness, dignity, and respect.
In our upcoming book Beyond the Politics of Contempt Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times, we provide (1) skills for greater self-awareness of how our reactions impact our health and well-being; (2) ways to mend relationships torn apart by politics and empower people when difficult conversations arise; and (3) actions to rebuild a national culture of kindness, dignity, and respect.
Finding something meaningful to accomplish, often with others, is a critical aspect of hope. Take stock of your skills and interests and find a path forward, however large or small.
As the Maine state highway sign suggests, preserving our Union requires us to travel onward to Hope!
